Dumplin’: A Review
WARNING: Spoilers ahead, read under your own risk.
Scrolling through Instagram, I saw that the Netflix’s account had shared an image of a movie that had been just released. I’d heard about this new Jennifer Anniston movie that came out, but I wasn’t really into it. That is, until I saw that post. It had a really cute guy, telling this fat girl how beautiful he thought she was and he was even condemning anyone before him in her life that made her feel like she wasn’t enough.
It can’t be. That’s the first thing that came into my mind. No one makes movies about fat girls. At least not ones where she’s the lead and much less where she gets the hot guy. While the focus of the movie is not her relationship with him as much as it is about normalizing things like a beauty pageant that fat people can be a part of. People freak out when they hear the word ‘normalizing’ and ‘fat’ in the same sentence. But the point of normalizing is not saying it’s healthy, just that it means that fat people shouldn’t be looked down on because of their weight. It is nobody’s business if a person is fat or not and no one should be made feel less because of it. Personally, it’s taken me years to reach a point where I’m okay with myself and I can wear a knee long dresses without a cardigan or bathing suit and go to the beach and feel fine. Now, it’s not perfect and I’m working on it. But I hate when people feel the need to point out that I need lose weight, as if I didn’t own a freaking mirror. My favorite part is when I’m offered diets and things like that. I know I shouldn’t be mad they “care”. But I do.
As I watched the movie, I felt identified with Willowdean: she’s fat, she’s happy and she ain’t apologizing. It’s clear from the beginning she has this huge crush on Bo, this really cute guy she works with. Starting there, that’s something I can identify with. We’ve all liked a guy that’s totally out of our league (whatever that means). It’s somewhat clear that he likes her and I swear I heard a disk scratching: What? I mean, yes, I knew from the Instagram post they were into each other, but it still was a shock. He invites her to watch a meteor shower and he kisses her (not just a peck btw) and then he starts moving his hands down her back. That’s when she becomes self-conscious and she storms the hell out of there. Totally relatable.
Their time on-screen is limited (unlike the book’s), but on this particular day she heads to the back of the place they work at, Bo follows her and asks her if she’s okay. He tells her he likes her. She points at her body as a sign of why they shouldn’t be together and demands: How are you missing this?
I can identify with what he tells her: I never took you for the type that cares much about what people think. That’s me. I don’t care about those things. But not minding other people’s opinion is not always constant. While for the most part I won’t mind, there can be days that I will. But it’s not as if one day someone decides to call me fat I will go home and cry. I’ve taken the habit of taking possession of words that are meant as insults and making them either jokes or adjectives. I’m fat, why would it be a bad word? She proceeds to tell him that she can’t be with him and that if that makes her a coward then she is. But then something beautiful happens:
Credit: http://blairwarner.tumblr.com/post/180898265213/doesnt-really-matter-what-i-think-does-it
By then I had tears in my eyes and I was thinking how unrealistic this is. When does the hot, tall guy falls in love with the fat girl? Never. But then he said something:
No, it doesn’t matter. I agreed with Bo, it’s up to her. Tears were falling down my cheeks, I feel this, this is me. This is me when I don’t know how to take a compliment. When I freeze at the mention that a dress suits me or that I look well. This is me when someone offers to pay for my food or drinks (that I usually say no to). Will I ever have this? Maybe. Probably. Statistically? Yes? Stuff happens. At the end she realizes she should be with Bo and then curtains.
Credit: http://duffhilary.tumblr.com/post/180897765854/dumplin-2018-directed-by-anne-fletcher
I figured I owed it to the movie and the author to read the book and I did. I loved the movie and I loved the book. Did I wish they added stuff from the book? Yes. But the movie is good in itself. As I read the book I understood Willowdean better. In the movie, her confidence almost seems unbreakable. But as she narrates in the book, she doubts herself every. step. of. the. way. The funny thing is that there’s a character in the book that points out how confident she is. And she laughs at the notion. This. I felt identified. I’ve been told I look confident and when I voiced my insecurities once I was told they wouldn’t have known I was not confident (though I’ve also been told otherwise). In the book she goes back and forth between wanting to be with Bo or not. He voiced several times how much he wanted to be with her. But even though she wants nothing more than to be with the guy, she doesn’t want the added stares and comments about their relationship. I think it’s easy to tune out the hateful comments when you’re the focus, but it’s much more complicated when they’re of you with someone else. And that might have been the problem with her here. She kind of starts dating someone else, someone who she thinks is “worthy”. The guy is “big” too but she doesn’t feel the sparks that she’s felt with Bo and she realizes that if he likes her and she likes him back then why the hell not?
There’s one scene in the movie that I loved. Willowdean has an argument with her best friend and mentions that the store Ellen works at “doesn’t carry clothes for fat people.” To which Ellen responds: “for the record, I never thought of you as fat”. While this could have a bad connotation, as people have pointed out, I don’t think that’s what it was meant to be. In a recent conversation I had with a friend, a skinny friend, she mentioned how she thinks I look good. And that the only reason she supports me losing weight is for my health. And I think that’s what Ellen meant.
For me, it’s always a back and forth. I see a “plus-sized” models like Tess Holliday, who freaking slays all the time…
…and her gorgeous, Aussie husband, and think that might be me someday (Hint: Chris Hemsworth). Her confidence, her rawness and openness make me feel empowered. But I also have days where I doubt myself and hate my body. But you know what? So what? We’re not perfect. We’re not always going to be at 100%. The point is to never lose sight of who you are, of who you want to be. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday it’ll happen for me. And it will be less about my weight and more about me, my personality, and who I am. I am pretty awesome fyi. I may not be stand up comedy funny, but I have my moments. I guarantee you will never a dull moment with me, okay?! And I can have the smart conversations, as well as the silly ones. Politics, movies, social problems, you name it. Also, superheroes movies? Yes, I love them. Do I love romcoms? Abso-freaking-lutely. But I love a broad range of movies. I make the occasional painting and I write. I love books and the Christmas season. And many other things… What I’m trying to say is that my weight is just a part of the equation, and it doesn’t define my worth as a human being, nor is it all there is to know about myself.
I’ve spoken about lost friendships before in this blog. So, to the people that have decided to walk away from me and have decided against having any type of relationship with me I have to say: it’s your loss. I will not mourn you anymore, you’re not worth it. But I am worthy of being loved (in a friendly or otherwise), in spite of what people might think.
Head held high, confidence and self-love before anything, babe.
Carolyn